Brandy's Arc

That was the most difficult

2009-08-21T09:23:00.000-07:00

experience and probably the second most rewarding experience (first being when I have a successful home birth)

I just got home and I am exhausted.

Long story short, mama had two prior c/s with both kiddos @ 9.5lbs and then we pushed out a 10lb 14oz baby! It was spectacular.

It was really scary though cause the MW's had me help out with taking notes for them. And baby had some scary decels but overall FHT's were great except in the one position.

I wanted to run home and never look back. I couldn't handle it. I stayed, I supported and I was pushed HARD emotionally with this birth. But it was fantastic! I am so glad I stayed and let me tell you. I am SO ready to be pregnant and to be in labor. I can do it. I will do it. I will be hard but OMG it was great.

So I am starting Project 365

2009-08-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

I started a photoblog for those who are interested. I am looking forward to improving my skills so I can take some photos of June!

www.photoblog.com/brandyroth

Do you need a Doula?

2009-07-29T13:34:00.000-07:00

Well come on down to my new website!

www.junebugdoula.com

ENJOY!

So a Much Needed Update

2009-07-22T08:57:00.000-07:00

Well where we are in life. As a family unit, we are still attempting to adopt through the state. We need to get the yard complete and rearrange the rooms slightly then we we will be calling E. again here soon.

On that same note, Jon and I are trying to get pregnant again. It has not been happening so this afternoon I have an appointment with Dr. Beller, an OB that specializes in fertility treatments, I am excited to start the testing.

Where does that leave us for adoption though? Well since you asked, our plan is to get our home study completed. Then just hold off applying for children till after we have the new baby.

Now as for the individual updates;

Jon: His job is going well and he is now supporting a whole new program. He has one more class to finish then it is just make up classes from when Casey passed to finish his degree!

Me: I am back in school through Birth Arts International. I am currently enrolled in their Labor/Birth Doula program. I am loving it and have clients already set up.

Juniper: She is doing fantastic, we are completely potty trained now. We are doing a dance class through Spark Plug Dance and it is fantastic and will probably continue to do so for the fall.

Jim, Jon's step dad built June and us a gorgeous bunk bed w/ a trundle. That is currently in June's room. But we are going to take it apart and put a twin bed in the play room and make it an extra bedroom.

So that is what has been going on.

Till next time!

My Individual Session Today...

2009-05-14T08:38:00.001-07:00

I have my two hour meeting with E. today. Yay! I am so excited and flipping nervous! It is just because she is making sure I am adopting for the right reasons. I am. I am adopting because I hate being pregnant and I want more children. I don't want babies because well I like older kids they do more stuff. I can communicate and listen to them. I can home school them and teach them how to be amazing adults and love the world. Encourage their likes and show them new stuff. Go camping, hiking, teaching dog agility. Everything. I want to give them everything and June too. I want to give them my entire heart and understand it may take some time for them to give it to me but that is fine. It will happen and I already have the love for them even if I don't know it.

I am ready for some more kids, or even another kid which ever fits our more but honestly. I don't care if they fit, we are an evolving family and handle it.

Gonna go start my stew now........

Karma and God Are On My Side

2009-05-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

You know I have always been more than willing to help people out, let people with less groceries go in front of me in line, let people into traffic etc... Well today it paid off, but a back story is needed to let you all understand....

Saturday Jon and I decided to buy a lawn mower even though we really shouldn't but it was decided it was a mother's day gift. Well we got it home and decided to try it out, well it was broken. We call Walmart and they said we could come in and just switch it for a working model. We decided we'd just do it on Mother's day.

Sunday morning we go out and it is stolen. I was so sad and pissed. I mean come one we have been through so much crap! So we called and made a report to the county sheriff's office and that is we could do.

Monday called our insurance company and it wasn't enough to meet our deductible. So I post an ad on craigslist to ask if anyone had any information regarding my poor broken lawn mower.

Tuesday nothing....

Wednesday I get an e-mail and it is from the Owner of Action Mowers on Main St. in Springfield Oregon. Turns out the guys who stole it brought it to her and she had them take it back to walmart for one that works. So Walmart exchanges for the next model up because they are out of the original lawn mower takes the guys ID and and bring it back to Action Mowers. She gets the new better lawn mower from them then sees my ad on CL.

So now I know who at least one of the guys are and damn straight I am pressing charges and testifying against them......

So I get a brand new better mower and I get to serve justice to the jerks who did it!

So if you need a new Lawn Mower support an honest small business here is Springfield!

Home Sudy Visit #2 on Thursday!

2009-05-12T10:12:00.000-07:00

I have my one on one two hour meeting with the adoption worker on Thursday @ 2pm. To talk more intensely about Jon and I and our intentions/motivations about adopting kiddos. I am super excited. Our adoption worker is e-mailing us a safety guide so we can go through and and "adoption/foster" proof the house. I know we need another smoke detector because we need one in every room where a child sleeps. We will see what else we need to do as well. Hopefully I can do most if not all of it before Thursday.

So Our First Home Study Visit is over.

2009-05-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

It wasn't that bad I was so worried and all. Our worker is really nice and all but thinks we are nuts for wanting 3 kids older than June. But was pleased to hear that we had completed all but 2 or 3 of the classes before we were even pregnant with Casey in fact most of them I was pregnant with Juniper.

So I meet with her individually next Thursday then Jon meets with her individually on the 19th.

It is exciting to start!

So Our Home Study Adventure

2009-05-05T16:13:00.000-07:00

Starts on Thursday @ 4pm! Our adoption worker will from here on out be referred to simply as E. and from the sound of her voice and attitude E. seems like a fantastic worker to work with. Very punctual and with it. I am so excited to start this journey. To describe the feeling going on in my soul and body is that we just found out we are expecting. Though we don't know the sex, age or anything else yet of our soon to be children. There is an extreme amount of joy, anticipation, nervousness and just gleefulness.

So there is a great update for you all.

We are all potty trained now!

2009-04-28T21:05:00.001-07:00

(Accidentally) I have been asking June every once in awhile to see if she needed to pee in the potty then yesterday realized it had been two days with out an accident. thumb up So we went to the store and bought big girl underwear ( she choose Dora ones) This also meant me had to buy new pants, lol. So she went from a size 3T to 18/24mth, Of course thankfully we can wear shorts right now cause pants would be extreme high waters as it is she is wearing daisy dukes! laugh

Just thought I would share!

So Our Adoption Worker Called

2009-04-27T13:50:00.000-07:00

And we are going to be starting our home study next week! I am overly excited about this process to be almost over. As soon as our home study is completed we can start putting in for children and getting bulletins! I am so excited! I can't wait to start.

We Finally Got Assigned An Adoption Worker!

2009-04-26T17:42:00.000-07:00

I am so excited about it! That means we are about to start our home study. I am so glad we seem to be moving forward with this adoption process! I am super excited! I can't wait till we get to bring our other kids home who ever they are!

What a Success Today Was!

2009-04-25T17:45:00.000-07:00

Today was the March of Dimes and it was great, all 6.2 miles of it! Our team Casey Hope got chosen as a family team ambassador and it was so nice of them! I felt so honored! What a difference Casey has made with her three days of life! What a great experience!

Thanks for everyone that donated and/or walked because of you the day was amazing.

2009-04-22T11:18:00.001-07:00

So I have just discovered that I can update you all from my phone! Woot for more posts!

Vaccines? Good article to make you consider what you are doing to kids.

2009-04-22T07:38:00.000-07:00

I am in no way saying people who vaccinate your children or bad. I just think you should be educated about what you are doing and once you are if that is what you want, awesome, I give you the educated parent award. Which no mater what you choose is the most important thing to be; educated.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jim-carrey/the-judgment-on-vaccines_b_189777.html

The above link is an article by actor Jim Carey and his opinion on what has taken place in the recent ruling of 3 autism cases in vaccine court.

As some of you may know we have not vaccinated Juniper at all and don't plan to. It started out as Jon's gastroenterologist suggested very blatantly that we research and hold off vaccinating until June was at least two years old so her intestines would have a chance to fully developed. Well with Junes milk protein allergy and her reaction to it; stomach upset and really bad green and mucus diarrhea. So I feel her intestines aren't quite up to par.

I guess this post is mainly just to have you think about what you are doing and be okay about it!

Casey's Birth Story

2009-04-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

My contractions finally started being productive and sticking close together around 4am Nov. 19th. they were around 10 minutes apart but this time it was different. They were consistent and stayed the same regardless of what position I was in and/or increased in pain. Around 10am I decided to make chili in the crock pot to have for the labor. I finally called Colleen, my Midwife, around 10:30 and she said to call her if they got around 3-4 minutes apart or else she would see me around 5 pm.

So we went through our day and Novena, Jon's mom, got June around 3pm. We walked over to the mall and we were ready and saying we were ready to have you come when you are.

So around 5pm Colleen came over my contractions were about 5 minutes apart at this point and I could talk in between contractions but had to actually focus during the contractions.

Colleen hung around and set some stuff up and around 7 my body decided to kick into gear and I could hardly talk to anyone in between contractions and I don't even recall people talking during my contractions. I just remember moaning and focusing on my own voice.

Around this time Colleen called Bonnie her birthing assistant to come over. It was around 9ish. Bonnie got there quite quickly though my concept of time were in like minute spurts of real world talking of which I could not participate in as I was focusing on deep breathing between contractions. It was about 10:15-10:30pm and Colleen wanted to check me to see how I was progressing. I was in a lot of pain but I had I been 5 or more I would have stayed home. I was 4cm. I wanted relief, it had been over 18 hours my body was tired.

Colleen stated that if we went to the hospital they would push a cesearen section and drugs to which I bellowed back, "MY BODY MY CHOICE!" We then went to the hospital after calling the on call OB.

For most of my intense laboring time I had been on my hands and knees moaning. Starting with the car ride to the hospital I was sitting straight up. When we got on the hospital table that is where I stayed. I thrived on anyone who was willing to put pressure on my lower back during a contractions. There were a lot curse words thrown out by me to make people give me pressure.

The delivery RN gave me an IV and I immediately asked for drugs but she said she wasn't the OB, so I then started to ask for the OB who said I had to the anesthesiologist. So apparently it is a lot harder to get an epi or any kind of drugs then you think. Cause I was begging and cussing and wanted anything they would hand out. Which turns out is just saline.

Finally after about two hours of being there I felt slightly pushy and got checked and was 10cm 100effaced according to the RN and 9cm and 90% effaced according to the OB. about 5 minutes of them arguing (could be shorter could have been longer) Her rate dropped down to 50 and then only came up to 60. I was finally given drugs though just to make me not nauseous from the cesarean they were about to preform.

This was a true emergency surgery, my catheter was inserted as we were going down the hallway to the OR.

I was taken out of the birthing room @ 1:15am and Casey was born @ 1:24am November 20. She was 22 inches long, 9lbs 11oz and all girl. She was precious.

Thank you all for being patient with me in writing this. It actually makes me feel better a bit by sharing the birth part of the story instead of the after part. Because even though it ended tragically, I would do everything same again. In about five or so years when we begin actively TTC after we adopt I will attempt to have a home birth again and will gladly go to 43 weeks in a heart beat and honestly I would go to 44 if allowed.

Sorry I have been a bum lately.....

2009-04-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

Apparently my little informative blog gets 3000 hits a month!? So I am sorry I am not updating regularly very much anymore. I will try to be better at updating and posting pictures.

So yes I will write a big fat update here shortly.

Thanks and hello!

Update On Us

2009-03-22T13:31:00.001-07:00

So Colleen and I were talking and mutually agree that the intense pain I was feeling were actually contractions pushing out the sac and such. Cause after it passed I felt better and I feel tons better today! Last night Jon and I had a 4 hour time frame with no phones, no Juniper and no distractions. We played Lego Indiana Jones and ate a giant sandwich from Safeway! It was so nice not to worry about anything for 4 hours. I didn't realize how much we were stressing about life in general. Our counselor made us sign a contract stating we will spend a 4 hour chunk of time together.

My chickens are doing fabulously, day 5 and none are dead!

My friend Katrina had her baby on Monday her name is Olivia, Jon and I brought her dinner yesterday afternoon. She is probably one of the sweetest friends I know. I called to let her know we were almost there and she put sleeping O in her room so we could in and say hi. I had to see her and it was actually a lot easier than I thought. I couldn't bring my self to touch her, but was a cute bundle of 7lbs. 4oz! She reminded Jon and I a lot Casey because she had cute eyes and was sleeping. But it was actually a really good visit. I didn't think I would be there for more than a second giving her food but we ended up staying for about 30 minutes!

So in conclusion, life sucks but hey not too bad.

Baby Bantam Chicks Day 1

2009-03-18T16:03:00.001-07:00

We got four day old bantam chicks today from Coastal Farms. I am excited to do this with Juniper and my daycare kids. I am going to take pictures everyday for like 2 or 3 weeks then maybe 2-3 time a week after that till they are around 12 weeks then they will be outside! So here is a picture!

I had an Ultrsound this afternoon...

2009-03-16T16:50:00.001-07:00

There was a fair amount of fluid in my uterus so the OB and Colleen both said the IUD removal probably disrupted the pregnancy and it hasn't expelled itself yet.

I hate life.
I hate life for giving me these circumstances.
I wish someone could just make it better.
I don't think that life will ever be better.
I hate it.

We are Pregnant......

2009-03-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

My IUD got removed yesterday and I am still pregnant. I am still at a high chance of miscarrying but hopefully the winds of life are in our favor. I will be seeing Colleen Forbes, LDM for most of my pre-natals and also be seeing a moderate risk OB by name of Paul Qualtere-Burcher and he will over see my case for my pregnancy and he will let Colleen be in the hospital room and even catch the baby.

Life has some cruel twists of fate sometime. My due date is Nov. 12, 2009 and I am allowed to go to 41 weeks so Nov. 19 if I am still pregnant I will have a C/S on Nov. 20th which is not really date I would like to have. So if I am still pregnant at 41 weeks I will have a C/S on the 17th as that seems better to me.

I will keep you all updated.

Thanks

Update On Us

2009-03-03T12:56:00.000-08:00

We are all moved in and should be having a housewarming party the weekend after next. I now have three kids in my day care so that is more money to pay off medical bills. It is nice because from daycare alone I bring enough income to pay our rent so Jon's income goes completely towards bills, food and savings. It should help out a lot! We are also not eating fast food or out for an entire year to see how much better it makes us health wise. I am going to start a blog about my year of better eating. It will chronicle my journey and savings through out the year. I am pretty excited about this! Hopefully it will inspire a few people to at least try and make better health decisions!

We Got A Puppy His Name Is......

2009-03-01T01:26:00.000-08:00

Alphie! He is an American Pit Bull Terrier and gorgeous! He is an amazing looking guy! He is papered and show quality but we did have him neutered because honestly who wants a un-neutered 65-70lbs dog hanging out. We are still planning on showing him in the altered category. We start puppy classes this Tuesday and I plan on going all the way through the Canine Good Citizen class and take the CGC Test as well so we can take Alphie to nursing homes and such to visit. June adores him and he is great with her as well.

I am Thinking 4 should be awesome!

2009-02-13T10:06:00.000-08:00

So Jon and I have decided that a sibling of three would be awesome from the ages of 2-12. So add them to June and then I would have four children in my home, five total. I would honestly like 12 at some point, not all at once but over time. After the kids are older or in college we plan on adopting 1-2 16&17 year old at time just to give them somewhere to come home for holidays, send letters, get gift packages from, just to call home. Then you know stop having kids around 55 or 60 so I figure I can have at least 12 children by then. I want to be the family that has to rent space for holiday dinners.

Update on Us

2009-02-12T21:12:00.001-08:00

So I figured I would update you all on me and us;

Medication;

Went and saw my PCP last Friday and talked about the issues I have been having. She upped my prescription from 50mg to 100mg still just Zoloft. I will be going back in three weeks from tomorrow to check up ans see if we need to up it/change it or keep it the same. I have started to get what seem to be migraines that last all day and get worse in the light but Jon thinks they may just be bad tension/stress headaches. I will bring this up to my PCP when I see her again. She said I shouldn't consider taking anymore xanax since that usually doesn't work long term but to keep a few on hand in case I get into an uncomfortable situation which would cause an attack of anxiety. My PCP also wants me to do two sessions a week of counseling, couples and individual = 2 times a week.

Counseling;

Jon and I went to our intake appointment and our counselor James seemed really nice we will see him once weekly and our payment is 30$ per session starting next week (the intake is free) We will mostly be working on our grief and understanding how to communicate our grief and feelings with each other. That is the main focus of our couples therapy.

I have to call my individual therapist back tomorrow to set up my intake session. I am hoping we can just go off my income (600$ per month from daycare) so we won't have to pay 60$ a week for counseling. If not we will pay it would just be better not to pay 240$ a month, kwim?

Cars;

My crazy uncle who was going to buy me a britax car seat for Casey decided since he couldn't buy me a car seat that he would give me his 1989 Ford Aerostar for free. It only has 62000 miles on it. I had to get the heater core replaced, oil/transmission change, title transfer and new tires which cost me roughly around 700$ not bad for a free car that is now in perfect running condition.

Moving;

Kind of at a stand still. Most of the necessary items are moved in and Jon is getting 5 teeth removed via oral surgery tomorrow. Mostly this weekend is going to be clothes and our desktop computer. Then next week is St. Vinnies and CL and trash bags. We have until the 21st to be completely out of there.

Me;

I got my nose pierced tonight and I am joining Curves this weekend because I got a great deal for no service fee and just the monthly fee of 35$. So I will start doing that 5 days a week excluding Thursday and Sunday. I started alli and that is going great. I have lost 15 lbs so far. I am on my way only 105lbs to lose. thumb up I am hoping to have it lost by my 5th wedding anniversary next May which seems like a healthy and obtainable goal. Still trying to find a tattoo artist who has had a miscarriage or lost a child to do my tattoo.

Jon;

Is doing super well at his job! He isn't supposed to technically get a raise till he has been there for a year so roughly around next August but his manager said he is being fast tracked and will most likely be getting it April or May and that will be 5-6000 more a year depending on the level! So proud of him. He is a little apprehensive as he is starting classes again tonight to finsih his bachelors. He missed two classes because of everything that has happened with Casey. I have a lot of faith and pull for him!

June;

Is extremely excited about her big girl room. And Jim is almost done with her bunk beds so I think she will be all about sleeping in her room soon. We started Kindermusik on Tuesday and she adored it! I am so glad to be able to do this with her.

Cats;

Are getting spayed and micro chipped on Monday and are overall adjusting to the move.

Dog;

Is loving the yard.

That is all and if you made it through all of this you seriously rock my socks

Counseling

2009-02-05T14:19:00.001-08:00

I am going to start counseling for myself as well as a couple with Jon. We have been attending an Infant Loss Support Group that meets once a month but I have decided I would like more one on one time with a counselor and Jon and I also decided that we would do some couple counseling focusing on working through each others grief together. I don't imagine this will be easy but I do feel it a necessary step in our grieving process.

June Activities!

2009-02-04T08:12:00.000-08:00

Today is story time at the Springfield Public Library and it is every Wednesday. Then next Tuesday we are starting Kindermusik which June adored the trial class we did so I think she is going to really enjoy it. It last for 15 weeks and covers string instruments. It is a mommy and me class so it should be exciting!

Well I am volunteering now.....

2009-02-03T11:49:00.000-08:00

I was e-mailing the director of the Lane County Heart Gallery about some kids that are listed on there website and mentioned that I stay home and she said that they could use some help on the newsletter that goes out bi-monthly. I said I could easily help since I can do it at home. So this morning I went and filled out the volunteer application and confidentiality form and got the document to put into there newsletter program. I am super excited to start this!

Painting......

2009-02-02T16:02:00.000-08:00

So painting is going well and we will probably be done tonight with it. WOOT! I am so glad to be one step closer to being out of this apartment and into our home. I'm so excited to move and hang up pictures! I plan on having a dinner for everyone when we are settled!

Ode to My In-Laws!

2009-02-01T20:59:00.000-08:00

My in-laws were very obvious in the distaste of me with Jon in the beginning of our relationship even when we first got married nearly four years ago. Though over the last four years out relationship has improved dramatically. I am so thrilled that my father-in-law Jim is making a bunk bed w/trundle for us. You know how cool it is going to be to have a homemade bed by Grandpa! For June and our adoptive kids. He also made June a functional wooden high chair for her "babies" and it is gorgeous! My mother-in-law Novena makes June a whole bunch of skirts and toys and has even start making felt foods, tonight we got some felt potato chips, lol. I am so lucky to have them as my in-laws even if we don't agree on some stuff they aren't that judgmental and are open to learning about why we do stuff which means a lot.

We get the keys @ 10:30!

2009-02-01T09:50:00.000-08:00

We get to pick up our keys @ 10:30! I am so ready to be out of this apartment!

I need all of your help with this and yes

2009-01-30T22:28:00.000-08:00

we are technically cheating but oh well. One of my best friends is a budding musician and attends UO school of Music. Well he wants to play a show at the WOW Hall here in Eugene but he needs votes. So that is where you all come in. All you have to do is email eugenechosen@yahoo.com and in the body write "I vote for Stephan Nance" The person with the most votes wins a free gig there and this would be awesome! I would really appreciate it if you all would help. And there is no spam just an auto response saying your vote has been counted.

you can view it all @ eugenechosen.com

Thanks guys!

I Recieved A Great Gift Today.....

2009-01-28T23:27:00.001-08:00

From my Emerald Sisters. They are a lovely group of women who I have known for awhile some since I conceived Juniper. They got every detail (even more than some may have wanted) about my pregnancy with Casey. They were amazing in the first few days after Casey's birth having a prayer chain where someone was praying or sending good thoughts out in the universe for every hour of the day. It was simply breathtaking and beautiful during such a hard and difficult time. Then they were there to listen to me cry and rejoice over Casey. They sent flowers for the funeral and one special friend even came all the way down from Tacoma WA just for the funeral. All of these women offer so much love and comfort towards everyone and I am so lucky to know them and call them my friends.

Today I received a very unexpected and welcomed gift. The contents were amazing. I received a necklace for me which is pictured to the right. A necklace for Jon and a charm bracelet for Juniper. They also enclosed some awesome note cards and matted print. I also received two books one grerat nighttime book for Juniper and a guided/open ended journal specifically for Moms who have lost a child either before or after birth.

I am in awe that this came for Jon, June and I. I was so taken aback that I was weeping in sorrow and joy. I felt as though I should travel across the country and give them each individual hugs. This was the good thing that happened in my day today.

Thanks again guys! I love you all!

High Fructose Syrup Contains WHAT????!!!

2009-01-27T16:23:00.000-08:00

Mercury, that is right. How vile and disgusting is that? I read this article in the Washington Post;

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/26/AR2009012601831.html

Study Finds High-Fructose Corn Syrup Contains Mercury

Monday, January 26, 2009; 12:00 AM

MONDAY, Jan. 26 (HealthDay News) -- Almost half of tested samples of commercial high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) contained mercury, which was also found in nearly a third of 55 popular brand-name food and beverage products where HFCS is the first- or second-highest labeled ingredient, according to two new U.S. studies.

HFCS has replaced sugar as the sweetener in many beverages and foods such as breads, cereals, breakfast bars, lunch meats, yogurts, soups and condiments. On average, Americans consume about 12 teaspoons per day of HFCS, but teens and other high consumers can take in 80 percent more HFCS than average.

"Mercury is toxic in all its forms. Given how much high-fructose corn syrup is consumed by children, it could be a significant additional source of mercury never before considered. We are calling for immediate changes by industry and the [U.S. Food and Drug Administration] to help stop this avoidable mercury contamination of the food supply," said the Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy's Dr. David Wallinga, a co-author of both studies.
ad_icon

In the first study, researchers found detectable levels of mercury in nine of 20 samples of commercial HFCS. The study was published in current issue of Environmental Health.

In the second study, the agriculture group found that nearly one in three of 55 brand-name foods contained mercury. The chemical was most common in HFCS-containing dairy products, dressings and condiments.

The use of mercury-contaminated caustic soda in the production of HFCS is common. The contamination occurs when mercury cells are used to produce caustic soda.

"The bad news is that nobody knows whether or not their soda or snack food contains HFCS made from ingredients like caustic soda contaminated with mercury. The good news is that mercury-free HFCS ingredients exist. Food companies just need a good push to only use those ingredients," Wallinga said.

More information

The U.S. Agency for Toxic Substances & Disease Registry has more about mercury and health.

SOURCE: Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy, news release, Jan. 26, 2009

We are Turning in our Application Tonight

2009-01-26T15:36:00.000-08:00

Jon has his physical at 4:15 then we are making any final touches we need to then our application is off. All that needs to happen after that is all four of our references to mail the letters back. They will be sent off by DHS tomorrow when they receive our application. Then when those are received by DHS an adoption worker will be assigned and complete our home study. So hopefully by the end of Feb. our home study will be started and then by the end of April we can start applying for kids!

New Blog!

2009-01-25T18:39:00.000-08:00

So to keep this all about our family I am starting a new blog that is focusing on my weight loss journey as I get to a healthier weight! My new blog is Losing Brandy

Move In Count Down!

2009-01-25T00:14:00.001-08:00

So we have 7 days that is right only a week till we can start to mice in to our house. I am so excited to day Jon and I picked out our colors for the house. For the playroom/3rd bedroom we chose peanut brittle and we are doing peanut brittle for the living room and a light green accent wall(the exact name is escaping me at the moment)that green color is also going to be in the bathroom. We choose a light blue for our room. June's room is already painted lavender so no painting is required in her room. I will definitely post before and after pictures for everyone to see. I feel like I should move in right now because I am so excited!

WE GOT A HOUSE!!!

2009-01-19T14:57:00.000-08:00

Okay so we are still renting but still, it is three bedrooms and has a fenced back yard. I am so excited! YAY! We will be moving around mid February.

Help me reach my goal!Sponsor Me at March for Babies!

2009-01-15T17:00:00.001-08:00

Neat Articles On Home Schooling Adopted Children

2009-01-14T15:30:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about this a lot lately because the more I think about the more I am getting excited that I am going to home school June until at least middle school if not further.... I found these neat articles and though I would share it.

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/articles/051806.htm

http://ezinearticles.com/?Parenting-in-the-Homeschool-Homeschooling-Adopted-and-Traumatized-Kids&id=1645628

I Am Going To Be Married!

2009-01-13T20:22:00.000-08:00

Okay so I am already married and actually in May will be our Four Year anniversary! Though my wedding set has been eaten by the couch so we ordered a new band and it should be here tomorrow so I will appear to married. I am quite happy about it too :p

2009-01-13T14:13:00.000-08:00

Onward Towards Adoption

2009-01-12T09:51:00.000-08:00

We had almost finished our adoption classes before we conceived Casey and now we are finished with those and we are meeting with an adoption worker today. Our paperwork is almost finished and we will be starting our home study process soon! Jon and I are really excited, looking at the heart gallery website we have a child in mind we would like to pursue Sophie not sure if we will get her or not but she sounds a lot like June and is born in the same month only a year older! We are also interested in sibling groups. Right now where we are only going to look at girls because we only have one room and June will have to share it. When we move it will hopefully be to a three bedroom and we are more than willing to get some boys!

Wish us luck that this is a fast process!

New Years Body Challenge

2009-01-06T11:42:00.000-08:00

I am taking part in a NYBC on another great website I am on. It is from
1/12/09-3/2/09. I will be posting pictures and measurements on that site and at the end I may or may not post the number but will post the beginning and ending photo for sure! I am excited to start. I was planning on Weight Watchers since last time I joined I had lost 20lbs. So this is a great reason to join! Woot, wish me luck!

New Year New Purge

2009-01-04T11:47:00.000-08:00

So yesterday Jon and I spent all day cleaning and organizing things. We donated six garbage bags of clothes, two bags of of toys and three boxes of books to the Goodwill. We also gave three bags of baby clothes to Jillian our friend who is due in April with a girl so she is getting ALL of Junes clothes so we are nicely cleaning out her clothes too. I never realized how many clothes that child had. Sheesh I have found outfits she has never worn and that had never been taken off the hanger. I am so happy to have the house organized it is great!

I Got a Job......

2009-01-01T11:42:00.000-08:00

Not in a traditional sense but I start daycare for 5 and 10 year old boys on Monday. I am quite excited it will be fun. I am excited that I get to do something in the home to help pay off medical bills as we got the first set of medical bills. Just for my hospital stay we owe 1480$ this is not the surgery cost, Casey's stay, anesthesia or anything extra. I am glad I can help pay bill with out breaking into our regular spending habits of Jon's checks.

I also can't wait for the 13th and 20th of January because I will be getting my braces put on and I will be on my way to straight teeth!

New Years Eve Plans

2008-12-31T11:38:00.000-08:00

I am so excited about tonight. I am going over to Shawna's house for dinner and wine. The kids will play and have fun! I hope all your New Years plans go off with out a hitch!

Here's to 2009 being a MUCH MUCH better year!

I Am Now Protected For 10 Years

2008-12-30T11:40:00.000-08:00

I got the Paragard IUD today from the OB. It protects against pregnancy for 10 years. It was quite an experience.

My New Years Commitment

2008-12-29T01:49:00.000-08:00

I never follow through with any resolutions I make so this year I am making myself commitments. I am committing to myself this year. I would like to learn how to adequately skate so I can participate with June. We went skating again this Sunday even though Juniper was with Novena(Jon's mom) overnight. We are going to go every Sunday as a family for a fun activity. I by the way suck at skating and that is why I hope to improve it! I would also like to start sewing stuff again.

So I am committing to these items and I am quite excited!

Christmas At Mimi's House

2008-12-26T14:00:00.000-08:00

We drove up to my mother-in-law's house and had Christmas up there. It was really nice and I got possibly the sweetest card from my brother-in-law ever, it was really touching and I think that trumped all other presents I received this year. June got some really neat homemade items from grandma or Mimi as she is called. Novena made Juniper another skirt and a pair of leg warmers both of which came with a matching set for her dolls. SO CUTE! June also got a tutu that she made along with a book and some diapers for dolls! She had everything on all at once and I know these will be worth something when she 16 and dating!

Christmas Morning

2008-12-26T10:08:00.000-08:00

What a fun morning it was! We woke up and all three of us put on our pajamas special for Christmas. We came out sat down and June got to get all her stocking stuffers and then we opened up gifts. She had a blast opening her gifts. We then had a nice ham and egg breakfast and played with all of Juniper's new toys. We declared a TV free morning! It was really fun to play and dance with Jon and June all day! I was an unexpectedly happy and great Christmas! June said she wanted to sleep in her bed since she was playing in it. She slept in her bed until 8am when she back into bed with us

Sign the petition!

2008-12-24T22:41:00.001-08:00

My Mom Brought Over Her Presents Today!

2008-12-24T13:30:00.000-08:00

My Mom and Tracy brought Juniper's gifts over and she opened them up. She got a matching set of princess towels, rags, a plate and pajamas. She also got a poodle purse and a set of mega blocks. Juniper absolutely adores her blocks. She played almost for an hour by herself with their blocks. My mom also brought a stocking and some other stuff for tomorrow.

Happy December 23rd!

2008-12-23T22:13:00.000-08:00

Today was nice but hard all the same. The morning was nice and June and I went to Story Time at the Eugene Library with our friend Shawna and her kids. That was a blast and I think that we will be continuing with it. :D Then Jon got off work and Colleen brought by cookies and wished us a Merry Christmas. We drove up to Brownsville and went to see Casey. That was really hard having to leave her there even though we obviously can't bring her home with us it is just I guess I wish it hadn't happened you know? Then we drove on over to my Grandpa's house. We hung out and talked while we ate dinner. Then we told them about continuing the 23rd present tradition and gave June her little present. It was quite fun and I can't wait till Christmas morning. Turns out though she enjoyed some "big bubble" bubble wrap and we got it on video! We stayed until almost 9 pm and Juniper was out before we has left Brownsville. It was a good day.

Tomorrow Will Be Bittersweet!

2008-12-22T19:59:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow 12/23 will be interestingly bittersweet. As you know my grandma passed away in July and now Casey passed. They are buried right next to each other. Tomorrow is my Grandparents anniversary and my grandfathers first with out her. When I was little I was always at their house for Christmas and was too young to understand why they got gifts and I didn't so it became a tradition that continued until I was 16 in which I got one present on the 23rd. So we are continuing this tradition with Juniper and we haven't told my Grandpa yet about it but I know he will be happy about it. We are also going to visit Casey at her graveside. So tomorrow will be full of mixed emotions.

So We Went Skating!

2008-12-21T22:33:00.000-08:00

We went over to our friend Jenell's house for dinner and then her and two nephews and us went to Skateworld to skate! It was really fun, I still suck but that is okay! June took a little bit to get the hang of it but after about an hour June was practically ready to skate on her own! We are going to do this more often!

The Holiday Market Adventure!

2008-12-21T17:32:00.000-08:00

Today we went to the Holiday Market and it is the second to last day of the year. Jon's mom has a booth so we stopped by and said hello. We wandered and found some dairy-free chocolate for Junipers' stocking and we sampled it, it was yummy! June also got a butterfly arm painting done. She held very still and was watching the lady paint her arm very intently! We had a quick tamale snack then danced to some good jazz music. June quickly made friends with some other dancing children and some fun market goers! It was a fun afternoon!

Snow Days A Plenty!

2008-12-15T15:00:00.000-08:00

It snowed here in the humble Willamette Valley and we were graced with a whole 4" and it started around 11pm on Sunday night and June got to see it start and was very VERY excited about the snow. In the morning when we awoke she popped right up and looked out the window and squealed with excited over the snow! We didn't get to eat breakfast before we got dressed in our snow clothes and were headed outside. June being the goof she is though would not keep her mittens on and after about 15 minutes of snow to hand contact she was crying over the fact that her hands were frozen. We came inside and ate oatmeal and once her hands were warmed she was insistent that we go back outside and play. Silly girl!

Christmas Has Come To Our Home

2008-12-14T20:58:00.000-08:00

We went and saw Santa last night. June was a little less than thrilled with him. We are going to try again later this week after visiting him a few times. We bought our tree and decorations today and it is all set up. Community Tissue Services sent us two heart ornaments and you can see them on the tree. We are going to get a few more special ornaments here and there before Christmas. We bought one of Junes presents today and are getting the other one tomorrow. I still need to wrap them though. I need to buy her stocking stuffing still.

We Buried Casey Today

2008-12-11T19:13:00.000-08:00

At 1:30pm we laid her down to rest in her final spot. I realize the her soul is in heaven and it was just her physical being but it was so hard to handle today. I had to make sure she was okay in her coffin after the ride up so I knew she was perfect. Then the people placing her in the ground moved the casket weird and I had to check again before they finally placed her in the ground. I feel as though I am slightly going crazy. It was just really hard realizing that She would have been three weeks old today but instead we buried her.

Casey's Letter From Me

2008-12-10T22:03:00.000-08:00

This is the letter I wrote to Casey and read at her funeral. It isn't word for word what I actually spoke but mostly. Please keep in mind that this letter was meant to be read aloud so it isn't formatted.

Dearest Casey,

I want you to know how much agony is inside my heart and will be there for evermore because it will never know who you were past a mere three days of life. You have done more in your life time then most could do with two. You have given life to others, caused many to come together and rejoice as well as do things in your name and most of all you have received love from me. I wish I could say I had known someone like you before but you are the first and most likely the last. You are a magnificent soul that was never allowed to speak. If you had, what would you have said to the world? What would you sound like? Would it have been profound? Or would you have been a jokester like your big sister Juniper? What games would you have played? What shoe type would you obsess over? What shape would you draw over and over again, circle or square? Would you go to bed early or stay up late? I want to know the answers. I NEED to know the answers, why. Just why? This pregnancy was not expected or accepted kindly at first; in fact I was terrified and angry. Neither your Dad nor I knew what to do. As the weeks progressed on and I got to know you more as you began to grow inside me the more excited I became to know you out here in the world. I only knew you and your ways inside me and then you began to move so strong and stubbornly. You let me and anyone who touched my stomach that you needed your space and that my body was yours. I finally knew what it meant to enjoy a pregnancy. You refused to come before you were ready no matter what your Dad and I tried labor would not come. When labor began we were so anxious to meet this person that had grown inside of me; then it became too much for me to handle on my own and we went to the hospital. You spent your only three days at the hospital and most of the first two not being held and I am so sorry for that. The last 17 hours of your life you were surrounded in love and received cuddles from your father and I and those precious moments with you will always be in my heart which is so swollen with love for you I can barely concentrate on life which is where the agony comes in. Casey I love you.

-Mom

Home From The Funeral

2008-12-10T19:35:00.001-08:00

It was okay. A lot easier than I thought, though it was horribly hard don't get me wrong. THANKS TO ALL OF YOU THAT SENT FLOWERS!!! That meant a lot. Thank god for Colleen she came over today and asked what I was wearing to the funeral and I told her maternity clothes. She told me no and took me over to Target and bought me an outfit. I was so sad and worried to have wear the clothes that I carried her in to the funeral. Everything worked out. I read my letter even though June came up and said hello in the mic in the middle of it which if she hadn't I am not sure I could have finished. We sang Amazing Grace and we were supposed to sing sweet chariot but I seemed to only be able to sing the tune of Amazing Grace and so we sang that again. So we are home and tomorrow we are burying her next to my grandma.

Thanks to all the support and prayers from everyone up till now we really appreciate it. I know that we will never be done grieving but it is nice to know you all are here.

I Wrote My Letter To Casey For The Funeral

2008-12-08T03:51:00.000-08:00

I had been debating on whether I would I write a letter to Casey for the funeral and then tonight well last night I was unable to go to bed. As I set up awake and thinking I decided to write and just see what comes. Well I wrote and cried and wrote some more. I am happy and yet devastated with what I have written. I will post the letter after the funeral here.

Casey Hope Roth's Funeral

2008-12-06T22:45:00.000-08:00

Casey's funeral will be held at Musgrove's in Eugene on Wednesday December 10th, 2008 at 5:30pm. There is an optional viewing time from 5:00-5:30pm in which friends and family can view Casey with out any tubes or wires attached, Jon, June and I have seen her and she looks perfect. Her casket will be closed for the entirety of the funeral.

If you would like to come and need directions please contact us and we will let you know the exact address.

Hugs and Love,

Brandy

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep Photo's

2008-12-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

We got them yesterday and they are wonderful. They are very sad, beautiful and honest. I am so glad we got them before the funeral. I am so grateful for their services. Here is there website which explains what they do and how truly special their organization is; NILMDS

I would also like to say that most of the pictures we have posted both on myspace.com and facebook.com were taken by Shawna who is a great photographer and is who also did our maternity shoot and whom I am very proud to call a friend. Her website is;

myspace.com/shawnablankenship and I would reccomend her services to anyone in Lane County.

OMG I SLEPT!

2008-11-29T06:45:00.000-08:00

June passed out at 8:30 thanks to the dance party/play date that lasted 1.5 hours last night. So Jon and I went to bed at (gasp) 11! I feel right asleep woke up at 1 to pee and take my vicodin and then again at 5 and then went back to sleep right away. It has been months since I have gotten more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep even at the hospital I just couldn't sleep. I slept for over 7 overs. I feel so rested it is amazing. My uterus area still hurts a little but not like it did yay for antibiotics and being able to take my vicodin every 4 hours instead of 6.

I just thought I would share because I needed this so much. Colleen is coming over this morning to bring food and just hang out and "pamper me" cause I am all infected. Then at 2pm Jon is driving us up to my Grandpa's house to watch the Civil War game and my Dad is making a big dinner and Jon gets to relax while fixing Grandpa's computer!

June is STILL sleeping and so is Jon so I am going to take a shower, wash my hair then eat breakfast. It feels wierd to be excited about a normal day BUT it is a good day!

Uterine Infection

2008-11-28T18:28:00.000-08:00

So now I have two infections one in my uterus and one vaginally. I am on two different types of antibiotics so that should help. It just seems like I am getting handed crap over and over.

MYSPACE

2008-11-26T21:08:00.001-08:00

I have posted all the pictures from the hospital; NICU, Baptisim and when she was in the room with us warming. There are no post-mortum pictures. If you are not on my myspace and would like to be added please request me as a friend.

My myspace www.myspace.com/brandyroth

It will ask for my last name.

The pictures are set to friends only so you have to be my friend to view.

Casey Hope Roth

2008-11-25T22:56:00.000-08:00

I am sorry I didn't post this information sooner but I have had a lot on my mind. Casey passed away at 11:10am Sunday the 23rd and was pronounced at 11:15am. She took her last breath in Jon's arms and her heart stopped beating in mine. It was the way it should have happened peaceful and with us. All four of her heart valves were donated and as far as we know are all now in there intended recipients. It is an amazing gift that she was able to give and it is peaceful to know that Jon and I created her to do this. We are at home now and welcome anyone who wants to stop by. We are planning her funeral for sometime the week of December 8th and we will be posting more information as it is planned.

Baby Update

2008-11-22T08:16:00.001-08:00

I am so heartbroken over what has happened over the last 48 hours. Casey Hope Roth was born at 1:24am on November 20th, 2008 she weighed 9lbs 2oz and was 22 inches long. I will post her birth story another time but she was born by a very necessary quick emergency C-section.

After she was born it tool 10-15 minutes to resuscitate her which included intabating and shocking her heart. We were told she had a 0-5% chance of surviving. We got to see her and she is perfect other than the wires and the tubes. So then on the 20th we had a NICU MD come to our room and talk to us. Colleen MW was in the room with us. The MD stated that she was improving and doing great that she would be in the NICU for about two months or slightly longer to do heart surgery after she got out of there. We were confused but elated about only being here two months and the baby would live. Then the morning of the 21st we walked down to the NICU and her NICU MD the one we had seen originally was there and so we asked what was up with her bleeding in the brain and what kind of surgery would be done on Casey.

Her NICU MD was quite confused and said that was the baby up the hall not ours. Casey was still brain dead and not responding to any kind of stimuli.

So today at 11am PST we are getting her baptized and the Rite of Passage done. Shawna is going to take pictures. We are then taking her off the cooling system to see what happens. She will either pass like that or if she shows distress we are taking her off of everything and bring her into our room to pass with just Jon and I present.

I have been put on Zoloft and Xanax and it is going to be a big long road that Jon and I are not wanting to travel down but are. I have AT&T so feel free to text and call me as I am really in s dark place and need all the support I can get, I love you all.....

Brandy

Labor Update #5

2008-11-18T20:37:00.001-08:00

So we(MW and I) had a sneaking suspicion that my waters was not really broken, we did the nitrate paper and sure enough it wasn't. She tried two more times about an hour ago and the sac is too close to the babes head to get a hold of it and break it. I have magically sunk back to two centimeters from four. I am almost out of time. She will let me go until 43 weeks and that is it. She originally said 44 but when she said it it slipped her mind that I am a VBAC which she won't go past 43. So we are trying caster oil tonight and I am aware of the hell that it is. I am going to take 6oz. of caster oil with 6oz. of orange juice and take it in two 6oz. groups right after each other. To top off bad news while she was trying to break the waters the dog ate my dinner because I was stupid and left it on the ground. So I am getting my fave thai dish eating that and then around 10pm will do the caster oil. I am still contracting but apparently they mean squat.

So that is my update and I don't like it.

Labor Update #4

2008-11-18T08:29:00.000-08:00

Colleen just left my water is broken and we are on way to a baby! I may post more as the day goes on but I am not sure. The plan is two more hours of the tincture and then some nipple stimulation. Then two hours of walking, birth ball and what ever sounds good. Then call her to check in at 12:30......... So I am off to have a baby......

Labor Update #3

2008-11-18T06:13:00.001-08:00

So I was able to fall asleep and I am now up. My contractions have slowed down a bit back to 7-9 minutes. Colleen will be over to check me about 7:15 and see if breaking my water is appropriate. I had some more mucus with blood this morning. All good signs that labor is definitely here but is taking its sweet little time. I will update after she leaves.......

Labor Update #2

2008-11-17T21:56:00.000-08:00

So my contractions are 4-5minutes apart and lasting 55 seconds long. Talked to Colleen and she says I am definitely in labor just waiting for the intensity to pick up. I can still slightly talk coherently through them and when I can only grunt or mumble she will come over. I am to rest and do what feels natural. If I haven't gone into active labor by morning she will come over and my water will be no more but at the moment it seems unnecessary so we are just letting labor happen on it's own.

Labor Update

2008-11-17T18:28:00.000-08:00

I am still contracting 8-9 minutes apart but they are definitely getting more intense. I spoke with Colleen and we decided on a 2 hour break from the tincture then start again and call her at 10pm. If I think I can sleep or rest some we will break my water @ 7am if my contractions are intense and I do not believe I can get some rest she will come over tonight and break my waters. So hopefully by Wednesday we should have a baby. I will update when I can. I am off to go cook dinner and such.

MW Appointment

2008-11-17T12:25:00.001-08:00

Swept my membranes again and gave me some tincture to help augment labor. I feel good with this decision. I am 4 and gooey and she said if I am still contraction but spaced out we could break my water tonight and then I would have 48 hours to hit full blown labor not have the baby though she said baby would most likely be out. She is happy with babys HB during the contractions so all is well and hopefully I will have a baby soon! Jon is coming home from work! YAY!

42 Week Appointment

2008-11-15T14:19:00.001-08:00

MW just left and all is well. My BP is up 130/82 which she says happens a lot right before the baby is born. Casey's HB was 144. I had her check me I was at a very gooey and loose 2 so I consented to having my membranes swept. It was actually very pleasant. There was a lot, A LOT, of pressure but it was helpful to practice my breathing techniques. Colleen said I was very stretchy and receptive. I got stretched all the way to a 4 and she said I would probably float back down to a gooey 3. She also got some blood so all great signs. Casey is posterior again but a very even posterior so Colleen said as soon as I get some good contractions Casey should turn to an anterior position. I am going for a nice long walk to get lunch with Jon and hobble with my foot on the curb. Then after lunch it is carpet shampooing time.

40 Week MW Appointment!

2008-11-04T14:40:00.001-08:00

So she thinks baby is no longer posterior and is just working its way down. I am pretty sure it is girl now btw but will be pleasantly surprised if it is boy too. My BP was 122/70 which is high for me but perfectly normal MW wasn't concerned. Babys' HB was 145 and I am still measuring 42 weeks so the no sugar thing is working and also Colleen said that is a good sign that baby is moving down too! Good overall appt. June was a pill because she should be sleeping and is currently just sitting next me zoning out on a book.
My next appt. is Monday @ 1 and she thinks it will be a post partum visit. I am not so inclined to jump on that band wagon. I am just going to enjoy the last few moments of my pregnancy where Casey is all safe and cuddled in my womb and no harm will come. I am anxious to meet my little babe but Casey will come when it is ready and that is when I will be ready as well. that is is a good mantra and I should repeat that to my self a lot!

Possible Labor

2008-10-30T23:24:00.001-07:00

I have been contracting all day and so this maybe it! I am off to bed to try to rest and hoping to wake up in some good labor!

39 Week Appt.

2008-10-27T19:14:00.001-07:00

It went great better than last week. My bp 102/06 and pulse was 65 and the babes HB was 137. I am measuring @ 42 weeks same as last week and she is guesstimating the babe will 9lbs and halfish. Which is right where June would have been had I continued being pregnant with her instead of the CS. No bladder issues or anything my urine was great. Went over my diet and that is great. Gave and discussed my birth plan also gave her a breastfeeding mom sign in case of transfer for my door. She thinks I am going to go over my due date which is fine I have no problem with that. I still think Nov. 4th would be great. But Jon wants it this weekend or next friday @ some point. So maybe a 41 week baby is what I need. I feel rather anxious and energized like I should be constantly moving even though I am tired. Also for sleeping she I could pick up some milky oats and/or melatonin to aid in my sleeplessness.

Also some may remember that the baby was in station 0 just chilling out in my pelvis. She is sure the babe is even deeper in there now. She cant really feel the head at all and my stomach is an obviously about 2.5 inches lower! I have also included my last belly picture of the pregnancy.

Ultrasound Today

2008-10-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

My ultrasound went well. Jenell a really good friend from highschool went with me as it was too short of notice to get Jon the day off. I got a cute picture of the babes head which is nicely squished in my pelvis. Babe is head down and good to go.

36 Week Appt.

2008-10-01T19:21:00.000-07:00

So my start to the day of people was a bit chaotic to say the least. I had written down that Colleen, my MW, would be here at 12:30. I had to pay Shawna for the prints I ordered so I had her stop by with the kids and they played with June for about 10 minutes (apx. time was 11:50) then there was a knock at the door. Well it was my MW apparently she was really supposed to be here @ 12:00 not 12:30. Then my mom and her partner walked in with her 5 year old. So in about 5 minutes my tiny apartment become a hopping party location! Shawna was about to leave anyways so she said her goodbyes and left then we started my appt.

My stats were fine 110/69, hb was 80 and baby's hb was 166. So all is well. She thinks the baby is deeply engaged in my pelvis and we are going to do an US on Friday just to confirm that it is indeed a head because she can't get an accurate feel.

I also got my blood drawn to check on my platelet levels. So hopefully those have gone up.

Pretty uneventful and a good appt

35 Week Mid Wife Appointment

2008-09-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

So all is well and her assistants name is Bonnie btw..... She came over a few times but I kept forgetting her name. Anyways I am actually am 34w6d so yeah but you get the idea.....

My BP was 107/69 and the babies hb was 140bpm. She guessed the baby is about 5lbs says it feels skinny and she also commented that it has leg for days it will probably be a long one just like June was. The baby is definitely head down and I have dropped. She also said the baby is engaged in my pelvis and the fun pressure on my cervix is the baby rubbing it's head on it. All in all a great appointment.

My next appointment is next Wednesday on the 1st, they are all weekly appoinments from here on out!

33 Week Appt

2008-09-11T14:05:00.001-07:00

So I was violently ill on Tuesday because I poisoned myself with raw pork, don't ask well I was 95% certain the flipped when I violently puking which made for a quite queasy momma. So anyways back to today......

So my instincts were right and I am now the proud owner of a baby that is head down. Thanks food poisoning! MW thinks it is a boy. June is so active in the appointments that it is cute. June can use the Doppler, she places it on my tummy and pushes the button and says, "hear that?" she actually found the HB today, it was quite cute! I forgot to ask what it was. My BP was 98/54 and pulse was 100 consensus was I am still dehydrated from Tuesday so more water for me. My pee was great except for keytones which she said is common with being dehydrated. Told her I wasn't going to get the Rhogram shot. She gave me some info about testing for GBS and said she has a girl from Sweden and they don't even treat or test GBS there and the US's rates still aren't lower than theirs. I am having her e-mail the link to the study and web pages since I thought some of you may be interested in them.

So yeah I have a bunch of crap to do and only around 7 weeks. That seemed like so long now it isn't looking so long *oops

Anyways great appt.

31 Week Midwife Appointment

2008-08-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

I was correct in my assessment of my baby.... It is breech but Colleen, the midwife, said that is fine since I am only 31 weeks and we will start to try to suggest the baby into a new position at like 34 weeks and until then not to stress...... She will deliver a frank breech but not a footling so we are okay there. We aren't drawing my blood this time we are giving it another two weeks and she had me pick up some more vitamins to add to my regiment and I am already taking a drug store...... It is a better liquid food based iron supplement, vitamin K, kelp and some vitamin C added to my five other vitamins but I get to cut out the iron supplement pill. My blood pressure was 110/58 and baby's heart rate was 128 and good and strong. My belly was 34cm and is right on target for growth. June helped out as soon as my belly was out she had the Doppler in her hand to hand off to Colleen. I was kind of shocked June remembered that is what it was for but go June!

My Mom and Jon attended this appt. mainly because my Mom really wanted to come to an appt. when I was pregnant with June and I never let her so I felt bad..... But then Jon watched June and my Mom and I went out to lunch at the Olive Garden and ate the never ending pasta bowl. It was yummy and the waitress we had happen to know us and so our last bowl was "accidently" full size so I have yummy left overs in the fridge!

All n' all it was a great day and everything is going good.

Home From Arizona

2008-08-28T15:44:00.000-07:00

It was great and I am happy to be home and back in Oregon. I had a blast with Juniper and she really enjoyed herself. We ate authentic Mexican food and went to a water park on top of attending Madi's 1st birthday party. I have a bunch of pictures and will post them soon. I have my 31 week midwife appointment on Saturday! Here's to hoping my blood results are better!

Juniper's 18 Month Appointment

2008-08-20T15:39:00.000-07:00

June had her 18 month appt. today and all is well. She weighs 22lbs 8oz and is 34 inches long. Her next appointment is her 2 year appt. and I can not believe how fast she is growing up!

Crazy Update!

2008-08-17T23:28:00.000-07:00

So I am officially not working now and I am at home FULL-TIME! I am super excited I get to stay home all day with Juniper! So for awhile now I have been saving and planning on going to Phoenix I just wasn't sure when I could or how to arrange it. So now with Jon's new job and everything going so well I am off to AZ on the 22nd of August and will be there until the 27th. I will be 31 weeks along when I return from AZ I am not even sure where time went with this pregnancy. So June and I will be out of the state for five days and it will be a first plane ride for everyone.

I have a midwife appointment on the 28th so I should be updating then if not sooner!

Junipers' Birth Story

2008-08-06T22:59:00.001-07:00

After talking with Jon and my mom I have decided I need to write out my story of what happened with Junipers' birth to be completely at one with my self as a whole to deliver this baby properly, so here it is.

I was measuring about a week ahead on the measuring tape for about 6 weeks now. So at 36 weeks my OB decided I maybe carrying a big baby and asked if I would like another ultrasound I of course was excited to see the pictures as I knew the office had a 3D/4D US machine! So the day of the US I was 36wk 3days and according to her femur length and other measurements she was already aprx. 9.5lbs. My OB said I could deliver if my body went into labor before 39 weeks. I began having contractions, not bad at all, continuous and got my dilated to 2 centimeters and then stopped. This was the 38th week of my pregnancy. On that Friday my OB said unfortunately if I did not go into labor that weekend I would have a c-section scheduled for Monday morning, I would be 38wk 6days.

The weekend came and went and it was 5:30am and time to get up and go to the hospital. I arrived @ 6am with Jon and got my IV and BP checked and everything was perfect. I was supposed to go in @ 7:30am but because of an emergency CS I was wheeled in @ 8am. Jon was not allowed back in the OR with me at first and that was horrid my support for the last nine months was gone when I needed him most. The anesthesiologist came in to do my spinal and I was so afraid of anything going into my back let alone anywhere near my spine. So I had asked him prior to entering the OR if he could explain the whole procedure as he preformed as it would ease my fears since my husband couldn't. I remind him of this in the OR and he agrees he says I am going to insert the needle now and my right leg jerked and went numb instantly I freaked as I thought he had paralyzed me. I said through crying my right leg is numb and he responded, "Is that all? Let me try inserting the needle again." No warning this time and my left leg jerked and went numb. My OB walked in at this point and I was sobbing almost hyperventilating because I was so scared by not knowing what was going on with my body. It seemed so foreign to me. My OB quickly told me that was all normal and he ran to get to tell a RN to get Jon. I had calmed by the time Jon entered the room. I was now strapped down on a cross like Jesus, I swear I felt I was being crucified. When I saw Jon I started crying again because I felt so violated and the surgery hadn't even started yet.

Then started my surgery and 7 minutes later my baby was born, both prior ultrasounds suggested girl but inconclusive. They whisked the baby away and as Jon and I had discussed he went with the baby. I asked my OB if it were indeed a girl and the attending OB and my OB both forgot to look. So I had to wait a bit for Jon to come out holding the baby before it was confirmed that Juniper was indeed a girl. She was healthy and average at 8lbs 4.6ozs and 21" long. After I was sewn and stapled up I was sent to the recovery room where they had Juniper screaming and I couldn't hold her. I am still not sure of why.

After about 40 minutes after being in the recovery room I began feeling real intense pain in spite of the fentanyl pump I was hooked up to and kept pushing the button for medication. I kept complaining to my two RN's that I was in pain and they kept saying I was just experiencing the spinal wearing off. They gave me two bolsters of medication in this time to help ease my pain and they did nothing. So after an hour and half after my surgery I was screaming in pain and couldn't handle it any longer one of the Rn's finally checked my fentanyl pump to discover it wasn't working the whole time. So after one and half hours after major abdominal surgery I had only received two minor doses of medication that touched absolutely none of my pain. By the time they realized it I had to be hooked to a constant and push at will morphine pump and receive a huge dose to get me down to a 6/10 on the pain scale. The RN's decided that since it had been nearly two hours since my surgery I should probably breastfeed since I refused to let them give her formula.

After another 2 hours in recovery and having June at my breast for that entire time I was moved to a hospital room. I had visitors off and on the rest of the day but was mentally and physically exhausted from the pain. Luckily Juniper was a superb nurser an my milk came in on my second day of nursing.

So that is it. That is why I hate CS's I am glad they here when they are medically necessary but mine was not. I took probably an hour to write this because I kept crying but I do feel better. Thanks.

Midwife Appointment Today and Mini Update

2008-08-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

I had another midwife appointment today and it went well. I got my blood drawn for a random glucose test and as long as that comes back fine I am done with diabetes testing! I am measuring fine and babies heart beat this time 145 per minute. I got to meet her birthing assistant and she is super nice and Juniper liked to share her pretend food with her. I am referring to her as a her as I seem to have forgotten her name. My blood pressure, pulse and urine stick came back great.

So this was my last month appointment. I will see her again in three weeks and then every two weeks then every week. Then hopefully I will have a baby! I am almost 28 weeks. My due date is October 31st but because there is a 2 week window either way I can go in to labor in 10-14 weeks! That is insane!

Mini-update: I am only working two days a week now which seems so strange to work that little. So I am not sure when I will be done with work completely but will be before the baby comes! I bought new cloth diapers which was fun and we will be buying an ergo next week at some point!

RME

2008-07-30T17:06:00.001-07:00

Is great if you are interested let me know and I will send you an e-mail!

My Days of Working are Coming to an End Soon!

2008-07-18T17:01:00.000-07:00

I am now down to four days a week and by the end of August I will be down to three days and then be done at the end of September be done completely! I will then be ready to have the baby and get the house in order. I will then be a SAHM! I am so freaking excited about staying home with my children. Then in January I will attend school part-time and finish up my schooling. Jon will be home at night so no more baby sitters! i am just really happy in my life!

Midwife Appt.

2008-07-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

So I had my Midwife appt. on the 10th of July and things were great. We talked about my diet and such, I still need more protein in my life. My BP was 110/60 a little bit high for me but completely normal. She was able to hear the heartbeat finally it was 160 bpm. At my last appt. she couldn't find the HB because my darling little spaz was kicking the heck out of the doppler and wouldn't stop, lol. She felt the baby and it is nicely in my pelvis head down, which means it feels like it is going to fall out of my, well you know. Everything baby wise is great and then I had to pee in a cup to check my levels and I of course have a very slight UTI and need to drink more fluids. Other than that I got a good bill of health for me and the baby. My midwife suggested I go get straight cranberry juice from Trader Joe's and drink it. Oh my goodness, don't ever drink it. It is vile. I have to pick up some other juice to mix it with, because it is just too tart to drink on its own. Oh my baby shower is being rescheduled for the 23rd of August because of my Grandmothers' passing and everything that went into it. I will hopefully be posting more stuff soon!

Jon Got a New Job!!!

2008-06-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

I am so happy and proud for him! We are nearly tripling our income and this couldn't come at a more perfect time. He starts the 7th of July at Symantec! Not only is the money better but the insurance kicks ass! I can see a chiropractor for 4.50$ a visit, how cool is that. I am now 22 weeks pregnant and starting to enjoy it more. We are planning a home birth and are seeing a midwife. All is good right now and is going to continue to get better!

Welcome To Our Blog!

2008-06-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

I am excited to start to this journey with you all and will keep you all updated to the progress of my pregnancy, Juniper's journey through life and Jon's stuff too! It is a great way to keep connected to family and friends who can't be around all the time!